An Easy Labor

The other day Greg Laden and his wife welcomed a baby into the world. Aside from providing the normal statistics for young Huxley, Greg makes this abnormal observation, “Labor was 8.5 hours long, a record for our midwife. In fact, labor was fairly easy. For me anyway.” Given the length of labor, I am a little concern for Greg’s wife but who am I to say.
I am glad to hear that labor went easy for Greg. Had I been aware that Greg was about to become a father again, I would have given him my own advice on how to reduce the pain of childbirth. It’s simple and effective.
Keep your fingers away from her mouth.
When our first child was born, I was unaware of this useful piece of advice and the pain was almost unbearable. But I am a relatively fast learner and by the time our second child came along, I had learned my lesson. The result was a significant reduction in the total amount of pain during the process of his birth. I think Shirley’s pain was about the same but mine was almost zero.
For reasons that I don’t understand, many of my women friends don’t think much of this story. Perhaps they aren’t utilitarians. I’m not either in most other areas but one must remain philosophically open minded.