« Bibliography Page
Main
Retention May Not Be a Cost Savings Program After All »
May 20, 2005
An Ancient Euphemism for Penis Johnson
A friend of mine sent several of us a somewhat aged, slightly sexist, but still humorous joke that was built around a euphemism for urinating: "shake hands with a very dear friend of mine." For the sake of scholarly rigor, I will reproduce the joke in the notes below1. In this euphemism, the "very dear friend of mine" is a metaphor for "my penis." But there is a little more to it than that. Notice that to make any sense, this old friend must have a hand or be a hand. It is this equation of "hand" with "penis" that I want to explore in this post.
A good place to start this discussion is with the Hebrew Bible. The Hebrew word for "hand" is יד (yad). Most of the time it means, well, "hand." But it can have other meanings. Check out the last clause in Isaiah 57:8 for example (הזית יד) which is often translated "you have looked on nakedness." I will give the whole verse, except for the last word, in the RSV translation.
Behind the door and the doorpost you have set up your symbol; for, you have deserted me, you have uncovered your bed, you have gone up to it, and made it wide; you have loved their bed, you have looked on (a) hand.
Here yad, hand, means a phallus. Note the first clause, "you have set up your symbol." True, this is likely the only unambiguous occurrence of such a usage in the Bible. But it sure is hard to avoid.
Perhaps the clearest Hebrew example comes from the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Manuel of Discipline (1 QS VII, 13)
If a man brings out his hand from under his cloak and exposes himself so that his private parts become visible he shall be penalized for thirty days.
Some2 would translate yad in this Isaiah 57:8 "lust," on the basis of an Ugaritic word pair parallel (yd // ahbt, UT 51 IV:38-39). But this may come from the root ydd rather than yd. These words appear to me to be a metaphor for a metaphor. But it does give us an excuse to look at Ugaritic. UT 52:33, 34, 35 seems to use yd (from the same Semitic root as the Hebrew) to mean penis. I translate more or less following Driver3
One (women) reaches down, the other reaches up; One cries, "Dad, Dad!" Another cries "Mother, Mother!" The hand of El grows as long as the sea and the hand of El as the tide. The hand of El is as long as the sea and the hand of El as the tide.
For the uninitiated, El is the head of the Ugaritic pantheon. He shows up in the Bible a few places (Gen. 33:20, Josh. 22:22, 2Sam. 22:32 are examples). Most Biblical references identify El, directly or indirectly, with the God of Israel.
There are a few other Ugaritc (Krt 127 33, 45) passages that might use hand to mean phallus. In these two passages Yassibs, Keret's son, is instructed to give a speech to his father that contains the following,
You will be carried away and [ . . . ] in the pit. You are brought down by the sudden collapse of your hand. You can not judge the cause of the widow or try the case of the wretched Since you are brother to the sick bed; a friend to the bed of disease.
A few perverted souls4 have thought they could see hand, meaning penis in UT 68:1. The problem is the tablet is so broken up at this point that it is hard to know what it may say. The fragmented text does seem to have a general context of a loss of power and vitality.
Let me be clear on what I am claiming; it is very modest indeed. The strongest thing I want to say is that the "hand" has been used as a euphemism or, perhaps better, metaphor for penis or phallus from time to time in human history. While I think that it was a widespread usage in the Northwest Semitic world, I have not proven that. Specifically, I am not claiming that the illusion in the joke that launched this discussion comes from or is related to the Hebrew and Ugaritic examples or that there is a long unbroken tradition of the uses of hand for penis.
If you liked this discussion, you'll love my analysis of foot. This lesson will be taken from Judges 3:24, Isaiah 6.2; and Ezekiel 16.25. I suggest you read these verses in the King James Version. Several other translations have been cleaned up to obscure the pure and joyous meaning of the original. It might be best to start with the Ezekiel 16:25.
Notes: Links are to my bibliography page for complete references.
1) The Joke:
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students:
"Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Just a minute, I have to go pee."
"That would be rude and impolite! ! !
What about you, Peter, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
She saw Little Billy waiving his hand. Fearfully she asked, "Okay Billy, I'm sure you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."
The teacher fainted!!!!
2) Ginsberg, H. L., JBL, LXIX (1950), 60; Irwin, W.H. CBQ, XXIX (1967), 33 and Dahood (1972), 193 and perhaps others.
3) Driver (1956), 123.
4) See Driver (1956), 166.
Posted by Duane Smith at May 20, 2005 8:06 PM | Read more on Ugarit |
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.telecomtally.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1170