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May 25, 2005

Make Sure You and Your Dogs and Cats Understand the Laws in California

Kos led me to Dumb Laws. Here is a sample from my home state, California.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Not only should animals understand this provision but they should also be taught to know how far they are from taverns, schools, and places of worship. While Socrates, our cat, has been fixed and is mostly an indoor cat, I will be telling him about this just in case he finds himself in a compromising and possibly illegal position. Perhaps I should also post a few signs around so that the possums that live in our neighborhood do not run afoul of this law. They mate and there is a nearby school and a place of worship.

Others such laws at the state level include:

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

While my hometown seems to have avoided being listed, there are a few laws in nearby towns I will want to make sure I don't violate when I am there.

For example, in nearby Arcadia peacocks have the right to cross any street or driveway, unless of course they are mating in forbidden places.

In Baldwin Park, no one is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

In Glendale, one cannot jump into a moving car or take a dog on an elevator.

In Norco, anyone wishing to keep a rhinoceros as a pet must obtain a $100 license and one cannot grow oleander flowers at all there.

I have not checked to be certain that any of these laws are really currently on the books. Some, that may seem humorous to people unfamiliar with the area, will make perfectly good sense to those near by. For example, the Norco law concerning oleanders is on the books to protect the many horses owned by Norco residents. And the city law forbidding driving "more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time" has historic origins even if it seems irrelevant today. On the other hand, any one who wants to keep a rhinoceros as a pet should, at a very minimum, have a license so to do. While apparently not part of the ordinance, such a person should also have their head examined before the city takes their license fee.

A law from Chico, a town quite a bit north of here, struck me as being particularly good for the common welfare of its citizens,

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits will result in a $500 fine.

Posted by DuaneSmith at May 25, 2005 12:49 PM | Read more on Humor |

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