« I Don't Believe It
Main
A Convocation on Job »

January 3, 2007

What Is Really Going to Happen in 2007 and What Is Not

It seems that Pat Robertson is back in the predicting business. Every year at this time a cadre of soothsayers, spiritualists, clairvoyants and other frauds think it their obligation to enlighten us with their predictions for the coming year. Many of these fakers get paid for their predictions. Well, over the years I too have made annual predictions. Most, but not all, of my predictions have proved correct and no one, absolutely no one, has ever published or publicized a single one of my predictions much less paid me even the smallest sum for any of them. So today, I publish my top ten predictions for 2007.

  1. There will not be a massive attack on an American city killing many thousands, perhaps millions, of people. It's not that I think this impossible, just not next year.
  2. California will not fall into the sea. I have made this prediction for many years and it has never been shown to be wrong.
  3. There will not be a major volcanic eruption that covers large urban areas anywhere in the world.
  4. Forest fires in California will destroy one or more homes.
  5. A hurricane will strike Florida also damaging property.
  6. The earth and the moon will remain in orbit.
  7. Glaciers will continue to melt at higher than historic rates. This is a new prediction but I feel quite confident in making it.
  8. The second coming of Jesus Christ will not happen. Aydin is predicting it for 2008. I will withhold my 2008 predictions until 2008.
  9. No universal cure for cancer will be found.
  10. President Bush will not be as happy with this Congress as he was with the last one.

None of these things will happen or not happen because some god wills them.

So there you have them, my predictions for 2007. I have others but these are the ones on which I want to stake my reputation as a faker prognosticator.

Posted by Duane Smith at January 3, 2007 7:19 PM | Read more on Humor |

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.telecomtally.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1985

Comments

I predict that there will be many predictions made.

Posted by: beepbeepitsme at January 4, 2007 5:30 AM

11. Stocks will continue to rise.

Posted by: Aydin at January 4, 2007 10:14 AM

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.
Send me an email if it is important.

Tags: