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January 2, 2009
100% Correct and Still No Respect
I continue to be upset that major news outlets do not pick up my predictions. I was 100% correct with my predictions for 2008 and not a single editor has asked what I think will happen in 2009. Unlike many other prognosticators, I made these predictions completely on my own; no consulting of the stars, no looking in crystal balls, no weegie board, no reading of lung or liver, no casting of lots, nothing but my own reflection.
Here are my 2008 results for your amazement.
- There will not be a massive attack on an American city killing many thousands, perhaps millions, of people. It's not that I think this impossible, just not next year. Grade: 100% correct
- California will not fall into the sea. I have made this prediction for many years and it is never wrong. Grade: 100% correct
- There will not be a major volcanic eruption that covers large urban areas anywhere in the world. Grade: 100% correct
- Forest fires in California will destroy one or more homes. Grade: 100% correct
- A hurricane will strike Florida causing property damage. Grade: 100% correct
- The earth and the moon will remain in orbit. Grade: 100% correct
- Glaciers will continue to melt at higher than historic rates. Grade: 100% correct
- The second coming of Jesus Christ will not happen. Grade: 100% correct
- No universal cure for cancer will be found. Grade: 100% correct
- The people of the United States will elect a Democrat as President. Grade: 100% correct
For 2009, I think I'll stick with the first 9 predictions from 2008 and replace number 10 with, "One or more of the big three US automotive manufacturers will be acquired or will go completely under." Let's see if these daring predictions for 2009 get the acclaim they deserve.
Note to those with abnormal interests: I planned a Friday culture word post for today but I discovered something just plain abnormal about the lexeme I selected for the post. I need to spend some quality time in a good library. All nearby research libraries are closed until Monday.
Posted by Duane Smith at January 2, 2009 8:06 PM | Read more on Odds and Ends |
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Comments
Duane,
Predictions 1-9 could be made by almost every one and almost every one would receive 100%. Prediction # 10 was an almost given in the political and economic situation of 2008. This is why you do not receive much respect.
Here are two predictions that can bring you a lost of respect and a lot of fame (and even a lot of money):
1. Tell us who will win the World Series in 2009?
2. Tell us who will go to the Super Bow January 2010.
Now, that is making prediction.
Claude Mariottini
Posted by: Claude Mariottini at January 2, 2009 8:57 PM
Claude,
In order to make those predictions I would need to read several sheep livers. And that would violate my amateur standing. And while it is a fact that anyone could make the predictions I made, only those who make crazy predictions based on crazier reasons get published and that is, of course, what I'm trying to make fun of.
Posted by: Duane at January 2, 2009 9:20 PM
Duane,
I will be glad to send you the sheep livers.
Claude Mariottini
Posted by: Claude Mariottini at January 6, 2009 1:06 PM
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