Craziness Based On Two Obscurities, An Anachronism

And several world class leaps of logic.
Ed Brayton provides an amusing post on an even more “amusing article” advertising a book about, as Ed says, “Biblical astrology…err, astronomy.” It seems that the 2nd coming of Jesus is written in the stars. I think the funniest part in the whole thing is,

Biltz explains the Hebrew word translated as “Arcturus” in Job comes from the same root word found in the Book of Joel discussing the return of Jesus, but is rendered in Joel 3:11 as “assemble.” [emphasis added].

And Ed just lets this slide. I think Ed enjoyed the picture too much to bother with some of the other crazy stuff. After all, a crazy picture is worth a thousand obscure words.
I’m sure the author of Joel would have been quite surprised to learn that he discussed the return of Jesus.
Oh yeah, is the obscure עושו (should it be עורו?) in Joel 3:11 [Heb 4:11] really from the same root as the equally obscure עש (perhaps better עיש) in Job 9.9? While I doubt that they do, I’m not saying they don’t share the same root either; it just isn’t all that clear. And despite the Old Greek, αρκτουρον, the Vulgate, Arcturum and the KJV translation which followed them, does עש really have anything to do with Arcturus? On this question, see, among others, Marvin Pope’s Job (The Anchor Bible 15; Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1965), 70-71.
But I almost made a similar mistake this morning. The operative word in the last sentence is “almost.” Perhaps rather than deleting my failed effort, I should expand it to book length. I’m sure if I hunted unfettered in Joel and Job long enough I would find support for a “meaningful” comparison between the Akkadian exorcism ritual and Ezekiel 7:20a. But then I’d need to draw a crazy picture and I’m not all that good at drawing.